Mar. 5^th, 2025

 

Here’s what I found myself thinking about during my prayer and meditation time today. Having been raised southern Baptist, I grew up with a lot of guilt. I ended up leaving the Baptist Church as I was drawn into the Jesus movement in the 70s. What attracted me, was this hippie Jesus that was presented as more inclusive and less about guilt and more about forgiveness.

But then, somewhere along the way, my involvement with the non-denominational, charismatic, evangelical movement seem to be pointing me towards a philosophy that said, “if I do the right thing, then God will bless me, and I will gain, even wealth.

Something did not feel right with either of these approaches. Today, reading Margaret Silf’s book, I realize that both of these approaches to Christianity are based in a transactional theology. This sort of transactional approach to God, and to life leaves us little freedom to choose as children of God.

For instance, how many of us choose to do even good deeds, out of a fear of not looking good, or disappointing a friend or a pastor or God  and losing their favor? The extreme of this in religious circles would be, behaving a certain way out of a fear of hell. The other side of the coin is when we choose to do something out of a hope of gaining something or being rewarded, or even out of a fear of not being rewarded.

All of this is a transactional way of living. We see this very clearly in Washington. Silf wrote, “ how many legislative decisions are made free of the fear of losing votes or the hope of gaining influence?”

 When that same approach enters into our faith life, it becomes very crippling. Silf raises the question, what if that inner voice, or some may call it the Holy Spirit, spoke, saying, “ I won’t love you anymore than I already do if you say yes, or any less if you say no.” 

We may not recognize the freedom in that initially, because we are so conditioned to expect brownie points for doing good things, and we expect the people who are not as good as us to be punished or at least not do as well as us. Silf insists that a transactional Christianity would violate our freedom. 

Think how freeing it would be to serve a God, whom we knew without a doubt would not love us anymore, or any less, regardless of the decisions we make. With that knowledge and deep understanding, would we not choose love, compassion, gratitude, forgiveness, and mercy more often, and choose it freely, not out of some duty or obligation or hope to gain favor.

Silf calls that acting from our true center, which leads us to the peace that passes all understanding, and the reality of who we are meant to be that satisfies our deepest desire.

If, as Silf writes,  the journey of our heart home to God is not about the hope of some future heaven or fear of dark oblivion, then we are free to live in the simple joy of each present moment lived fully in the freedom of being a child of God.

Right now we have a government that has become even more transactional, by their own words. Granted, as human beings, it is almost impossible to live a life, free of transactional, thinking, and being, but that is what we strive for if we are focused on something bigger than ourselves. A government that is completely transactional, loses its moral compass , will only engage with friends and foes if there is something reciprocal, and often it has to come in the form of material wealth. This approach leaves no room for compassion, or generosity of spirit. 

In a transactional world, the only voices being heard are the ones with the most power, wealth, and fame. They are the ones with a platform and a voice,  and if those voices do not recognize something bigger than themselves and are trying to make God in their image, then rather than America being a bright city on a hill, we end up erecting golden statues  to ourselves and building vacation resorts on the blood and tears of widows and orphans, and a broken people. This will be our legacy.

The sad thing is, this kind of transactional way of being actually leads to less freedom, both in the secular world, and in the religious world.  While all the while, we are being told the opposite.

 May God bless us and keep us and deliver us!

 

 

 

 

 

Feb. 20^th, 2025

 

Today in my meditation and prayer time, I realize that as I get older I have wasted a lot of time seeking approval from others and trying to leave my mark when all of these things are transient. Author Margaret Silf, in her book, “inner compass,” said “ I don’t have and can’t have by the nature of things any permanent hold on anything because I myself am only passing through the created world at this moment in time, and everything else is equally transient. To try to hold onto things or people is to reverse the natural logic of creation and set myself up as creator.” She goes on to say, “ because nothing is mine, in any real or permanent way, I have ultimately nothing to fear from apparent losses in my life, and ultimately nothing to gain from transient acquisitions or achievements.”

If I can learn to live from this truth, then I will be living from the free center of my life, which will leave me free of the constant need to hold on to what I fear to lose, and set me free from the striving for what I hope to gain . If I can do this, then I am freed up to enter into the challenge of becoming who I really am.

I know it’s a journey and I suspect in one form or another I have been taking this journey, but it’s a little frustrating that it’s taken me 70 years to finally get some of these things. I think I understood them intellectually, but in actuality, therein was the rub.

 When you are too focused on your own life and what it means, as I have been at various times in my life, then people and things in some strange way become extensions of yourself, and you relate to the world by comparing yourself, judging yourself and others. At times, it has kept me from entering into true relationship with them, delighting in the mystery of who they are.

I am learning to be kinder to myself and more patient. I am seeing that all that I have, my time, my talents,  and even my weaknesses and shortcomings are gifts from God, for the latter bring me to a place of humility and brokenness, a place were God‘s love and light can reach me. 

This is a process and one for which I will need much grace, support, friendship, and forgiveness, especially forgiveness.

As for the world, and moving forward; I ask that when you consider voting for a candidate locally or nationally, ask yourself if you can see that person taking responsibility for their mistakes and asking forgiveness. If you cannot, then I suggest you move onto to another Candidate who can, for that is where real strength lies.

 

 

 

Thoughts From Ignation Adventure Pt. 1

 

Feb. 15^th, 2025

 

13 years ago on Valentine’s Day I had the Widowmaker while working out in the gym. I am eternally grateful to all the folks working at Tcc, who ignored my insistence that I didn’t need EMSA, and that I simply had the flu. The ambulance arrived and took me to St. John Hospital. I remember when they pulled into the emergency drive and opened the back doors and there standing about 25 yards away was Margee and the boys. It was such a comfort to see them waving at me. I remember how quickly they got me upstairs and prepped for surgery. I remember watching as the skilled surgeon put in the two stents. They call it a piggyback. I also remember them opening up a smaller vessel with balloons. I watched the whole thing on the screen. What I remember most about that part was how relieved I felt when they put the second stent in and suddenly I could breathe.

Yes, it damaged my heart to the point that I have congestive heart failure, and it gave me trauma induced, but I survived by the grace of God and the skilled surgeons and doctors that continue to care for me and guide me.

I believe in the healing power of God, but all healing is from God. God created us each with a desire to do something with our lives and each of us has their own unique talents or gifts. Those scientists, doctors and nurses in the healing profession are doing the work of God and it doesn’t even matter whether they believe.

My physical heart was damaged by this heart attack, but in many ways, my spiritual heart was set free. All of the love and outpouring that came to me over the weeks from friends and family and even acquaintances helped my recovery. I am so very grateful to all of you for bringing me back to the land of the living.

Today, at 70 years young, I am able to bicycle, hike, swim, and I don’t take that for granted.

Valentine’s Day is indeed about heart-themed candy and cards, but for me it will always be associated with an actual heart that was restored by the miracle of science and the love of God through those who represent Him/Her

I will continue to do as Jesus commands and love God with all my heart and love, my neighbor as myself, which means I have to do a better job of loving myself. I will not do any of this perfectly, but that is OK. Part of loving myself is taking care of myself. Taking care of myself is recognizing when I am hating, not just the sin , but the sinner. Each time I go down that road, I lose a little bit of myself.

Making kombucha with jujubes and persimmons

 

a page from my ebay art gallery

The adventure continues....

Well this is Margee on Scott's blog.  He called me the other night and said that he had been working on his blog on the iphone ( speaking into the mic) and hadn't published it yet, as it wasn't perfect.... and then tried to make a correction on what was now, a many paged blog, and wouldn't ya know it.... he lost the whole dang thing.  I suggested that he just use the old fashioned method, and physically write it ( I had given him a small diary to take on his trip with him for just this purpose ;-) ... then use your new fashioned cell phone to photograph the page and I would type it up for him and add it to the blog for him here in Tulsa.  So Plan B.... Send the photo and I will sharpen/adjust contrast and just plug it into the blog as a jpg!  Brilliant!  So here is the continuation of the Scott adventure saga.

8/4 Day 12 of Scott's European adventure

 Today our noble guide, Bill,  wakes in a festive mood.  Having slept well, he is looking forward to going to the national Museum, as am I.   I however, having returned home late from the pub the night before, I am not so energetic as our guide.
I enjoyed an evening at the Betsey Trotwood Pub, hanging out with the "lantern society" of folk musicians. They are a happy bunch of poets and musicians,  despite the fact that our host welcomes us to the  Boulavard of broken dreams, and then proceeds with a beautiful poem to start the evening. He says all artists rise from broken dreams  and speak truth, giving hope in times of oppression and shattered dreams.  We are in those times now he declares. The audience is clearly with him as the applaud.
 I had a pint or two and enjoyed wonderful songs and poetry throughout the evening. Fortunately I remembered to ask someone how late the buses and underground run.  I left in what I thought was plenty of time to catch the last underground out of Kings Cross.   However, after waiting 15 to 20 minutes at the bus stop, someone told me the stop was closed for the night. This meant  I must walk to the underground, which though only supposed to be a 20 minute walk, still increased  my anxiety, being a stranger in a strange land. I began to walk in the direction of Kings Cross.  To make a long story short I at some point asked a young lady  directions to the underground and she sent me the wrong direction, which meant that I had to run the last stretch to reach my destination.  The good news I did make it on time, weary, but relieved.
 Nevertheless, tired as I am, I am ready to see Trafalgar Square and the national Museum.   The square is itself, something to see with many statues surrounding a fountain and people of all nationalities gathered.  There are street vendors, buskers, and break dancers.   Also there are many floating figures all around the square. Apparently the British are quite taken with Star Wars figures that levitate. I should  have taken a picture of one of these floating figures.  Bill, our guide, asked me if their arms didn't get tired holding themselves up the way they did all day.   I may not know Vivaldi from Mozart, but I understand an illusion when I see one, so I had to explain to the professor how the trick was done.
 There is so much to see in the national Museum that thankfully we had our great Guide with his Rick Steves Guide book to help us on our journey.  Our guide, though very knowledgeable in his own right, seems to rever the words of this greater Guide, with whom he must have a relationship, because he refers to him  often, saying, " let us see what Steve has to say,"  as he consults the guidebook to find out which paintings are worthy of our time. Thankfully we have this greater guide  and Bill our lesser Guide to help us on this journey or we would be Forever wondering among paintings of virgins, Saints, and Angels;  not that I have anything against them, just that I can take only so many  virgins and cherubs in a day.
 With the help of our two guides we were able to find our way to Rembrandt, Turner, Monet, Degas, Van Gogh, Matisse  and others.  There are endless rooms of beautiful works of art, but fortunately because of our Guide we were not allowed  to waste our adoration for lesser works, as he would shuttle us off to find more worthy works of art. Apparently Steve is a jealous Guide,  and has written down which pieces of art are worthy of our adoration. I am so grateful that  our own guide is in such good communication with Steve and can convey to us his wishes.
Again, I poke fun at my friend. With the vastness of this museum and extensive collection of art, I was grateful to have Bill, (with help from Steve) who knows my tastes in art to help me use my time wisely.  I highly recommend the National Museum in London.