Feb. 15^th, 2025

 

13 years ago on Valentine’s Day I had the Widowmaker while working out in the gym. I am eternally grateful to all the folks working at Tcc, who ignored my insistence that I didn’t need EMSA, and that I simply had flu. The ambulance arrived and took me to St. John Hospital. I remember when they pulled into the emergency drive and open the back doors and there standing about 25 yards away was Margee and the boys. It was such a comfort to see them waving at me. I remember how quickly they got me upstairs and prepped for surgery. I remember watching as the skilled surgeon put in the two stents. They call it a piggyback. I also remember them opening up a smaller vessel with balloon. I watched the whole thing on the screen what I remember most about that part was how relieved I felt when they put the second stent in and suddenly I could breathe. Yes, it damaged my heart to the point that I have congestive heart failure, and it gave me trauma induced, but I survived by the grace of God and the skilled surgeons and doctors that continue to care for me and guide me.

I believe in the healing power of God, but all healing is from God. God created us each with a desire to do something with our lives and each of us has their own unique talents or gifts. Those scientist, doctors and nurses in the healing profession are doing the work of God and it doesn’t even matter whether they believe.

My physical heart was damaged by this heart attack, but in many ways, my spiritual heart was set free. All of the love and outpouring that came to me over the weeks from friends and family and even acquaintances helped my recovery. I am so very grateful for all of you For bringing me back to the land of the living.

Today, at 70 years young,, I am able to bicycle, hike, swim, and I don’t take that for granted.

Valentine’s Day is indeed about .  I will continue to do as Jesus commands and love God with all my heart and love, my neighbor as myself, which means I have to do a better job of loving myself. I will not do any of this perfectly, but that is OK. Part of loving myself is taking care of myself. Taking care of myself is recognizing when I am hating, not just the sin , but the sinner. Each time I go down that road, I lose a little bit of myself.

Every one of us are made in the image of God and our children of God, but by the same token, all of us are wounded in some way and some of us carry wounds that are deeper and more damaging, and for those who like self-awareness and serve the ego above all else rather than something bigger than themselves, they’re blindness is staggering and unimaginable to many of us. 

Speak out and live your life in opposition to the hateful, racist,  disregard for the disenfranchised, and the least of those who are our brothers and sisters. However, difficult is it may be, I urge you not to succumb to hating those you view as the perpetrators of the above, for it does nothing to alter the hearts and minds of those deceived by their own trauma, but it will do damage to your own health and well-being.

This is not an easy ask, for I struggle with it every day, every time I hear the news, or read the paper . I have good days and bad days and sometimes restless nights. I tell myself, especially on Valentine’s Day, that my life is a gift and remind myself not to squander it, by succumbing to the dark forces around me. We may never defeat the darkness, but light will always diminish it. I remind myself of this daily. Be the light, my friends, and humble ourselves by remembering that sometimes we too have been deceived by the darkness.